catty

Kathy- But why is there cattiness? I think there is dynamic in our culture that pits women against one another. Because we are treated as sexual beings, by men, women and our society, it becomes a game that if we don't play, we get left out. I grew up a total tomboy, confident, physcial, sure of myself, isolated from discrimination of all kinds. I didn't even know that I was different or going to get treated differently than boys. It was huge awakening and very hard when women started telling me I needed to do this and that to be a "woman" (don't take big steps, shave your legs, wear makeup and skirts, act more passively around men, don't show that you're interested in sex, be more gentle, don't speak up). I felt betrayed. And, since I wanted to do certain things in the world, I had to learn how to be like men. They still run the world.

I think you do have to be tough, but you cannot lose your humanity or your femininity either. I always try to find women to support, both in more senior positions than me and more junior. We have to be honest about our challenges and stop acting like we can do it all, career, mom, hot sex, up-to-date, caretaking everyone and also be a great cook...It's hard (sometimes maybe worse than what women had to do in the 1950's!) and we need to support each other to create our own networks, make our way as women in leadership positions and try to be in balance.

It's always interesting when I find myself looking for the next step in my career. When I reach out to my entire network, it's always the men who offer to connect me to potential jobs and people, and the women are the ones who call to see how I am feeling.

We women need to be as good at generating support for each other as we are at caring for each other.